December 2016

I’m Now A Blonde!


Hey fans, I did it, I got my hair all blondified at Alice Salon today! I did a bunch of makeup looks yesterday for fun and combined it with some of today’s pix…enjoy the contrast! Happy almost New Years Eve! May this year be a blonder one!

Makeup Urban Decay, NYX, Laura Mercier, Physician’s Formula, etc. you know what I love fans!

top AEO/pants H&M/boots Payless

Carol Recap/Commentary

Spoiler alert if you haven’t seen the movie, Carol.

The movie begins where it almost ends…at the heart of the story between two lovers, Carol (Cate Blanchett) and Therese (Rooney Mara) and life that is at the tip of their tongues. The movie came out a little over a year ago and I’ve seen it a number of times. It is a timeless love story between two women in the 50s. The words lesbian or bisexual are never uttered. There are many stares that occur between the titular characters, and it all amounts to the big finish. The movie is based on the book, The Price of Salt. I haven’t read it, but maybe in the future I shall. Here’s recap of the movie! So the movie starts with the scene just a few before the last where Therese meets Carol at The Oak Room. There, Carol tells her lover that she is doing better with her custody battle with her ex husband and that she got a job and an apartment. She invites Therese to live with her. Therese declines. However, when the movie opens, we do not know all of that yet. It is interesting how throughout a lot of the movie, Therese and Carol actually don’t say much. However, there is not much that needs to be said. Therese and Carol met at the department store where Therese works. She checks out Carol (in more ways than one) with a train set that Carol will give her 4 year old daughter. It’s interesting how Therese said that she wanted a train set as a kid and didn’t have any favorite dolls. Carol leaves her gloves there, so Therese later returns them to her mailing address. That is funny when Carol said shopping makes her nervous and Therese says working there makes her nervous. And when Carol says she likes Therese’s hat-lol she likes more than her hat! Anyway, Therese has a boyfriend and they seem alright together, but there is no oomph, you know?! His friend works at The New York Times. He tells her that his friend there is a junior photo editor and she should come by (Therese takes pictures). Later you see Carol brushing her daughter’s hair until her husband gets home. There is tension. He also is critical of Carol spending time with her friend and former lover, Abby (Sarah Paulson). Carol thanks Therese on the phone for the train set and her gloves being delivered. Hence, Carol of course takes her out to dinner for it, just like that. So, the two women sit in a booth, Carol knows what she wants to order and Therese orders the same. They both start smoking and Carol asks about Therese’s name. Therese asks if she thought it was a man who sent her gloves back. Carol says she did think so, but that she is delighted regardless. Therese compliments her perfume. Carol tells her that she and her husband are divorcing. Therese says how her boyfriend would like to marry her. She asks if she would like to marry him. Therese says, “Well, I barely even know what to order for lunch.” Lol and the romance begins! They stare long and hard at each other and then dig in. Carol then asks if Therese would like to come over on Sunday. And without thought, Therese automatically says that she would like to come over. Carol then says that she’s strange. She says that she’s “flung out of space” (which she later repeats in the middle of the movie when they have sex.) Lol, I think they are both strange, but in a cute way because they barely know each other at this point and they are already head over lesbian or bisexual heels. Therese is probably like 20 years younger than her or something, btw. Abby then drives Carol to a party with her husband that she doesn’t want to go to. At the party, her husband tells her she’s beautiful and blah blah blah. Back to Therese, her boyfriend’s Times friend shows her around The Times. Interesting how he says how you don’t always know why you’re attracted to someone, which ties into the plot of the movie itself…he then kisses her and she leaves, lol! Back to Carol, her husband Harge drives her home and then asks her to come to his parents’ house for Christmas. She is not amused. Once she says that she has their daughter and Abby, he is not too happy. She then says, “Abby and I were over long before you and I were over, Harge.” Later, Carol drives to pick up Therese while her boyfriend waits with her and as Carol drives off with Therese he tells her he loves her and Therese doesn’t say it back. In the car they talk and smile and listen to music. The camera zooms in on Carol’s fur coat, her lips, her face, her hands, and their happiness growing with each other. Carol stops off at a Christmas tree place while it snows and Therese takes pictures of her. Now at Carol’s house, she plays with her daughter at the Christmas tree. Then Therese plays the piano while Carol wraps presents and they talk a little. Carol then walks over and touches Therese’s shoulders at the piano. They then talk about her photography and Carol asks to see her work. Therese says they’re under her sink at her place and Carol slyly says  to invite her over. Harge then shows up unannounced and they argue with Therese still there. He asks Therese how she knows Carol. Later, Carol says goodbye to her daughter in the car and asks why she can’t come. Later, Harge says that he wants Carol to come and he corners her and man handles her literally, she then knocks him down because he was blocking her path. He then drives away with their daughter. Carol later drives Therese to the train station. She cries on the train. Don’t worry Therese, it’ll get better! Carol calls Therese’s apartment and apologizes and asks to see her again. She of course says yes. In the next scene, Carol sees her divorce lawyer and tells him to give her the news straight, lol she’s not straight! He tells her that “Harge has sought an injunction that denies any access to Rindi until the hearing.” He says that Harge can have full custody of their daughter, Rindi upon a “morality clause. ” Basically her being gay or bi is immoral for her being able to raise a child. Carol then walks outside mad and then sees a camera in a store window that Therese would like. The next scene shows Therese buying a record and her seeing a lesbian couple whom also look at her. Her boyfriend whom calls her Terry, lol walks with her and asks if she’s been thinking about going to Europe with him. She then seems distressed. They talk more and he says that the two girls he slept with didn’t mean anything and he loves her. She then asks if he’s “ever been in love with a boy.” He says no and that there are “people like that.” She keeps talking and he gets it, he asks if she’s in love with a girl. She later says how she can’t make herself marry him in France. Carol, in the next scene tells Abby about the “morality clause.” Abby starts to apologize if she had to do with it and Carol stops her. Abby says how she has her eye on a Rita Hayworth like red head. They lol about it! Carol says she wants to go West. They talk about Therese and Abby asks if she knows what she’s doing. She says, “I don’t…I never did.” I love that line! Carol then comes to Therese’s apartment (I guess she gave her the address from the scene where Carol said to invite her?) and gives her the camera she looked at earlier for Christmas. Therese loves it! Carol looks at photos she took of her and various other things. She then looks at a photo of Therese as child around Rindi’s age and feels down. She starts crying hoping Therese won’t see, but of course she comes over to console her. She even startles her by touching her shoulder. They later talk about it on the roof. Carol then asks Therese to go West with her and of course she says yes. They are so happy together. The next scene is the opposite of Therese being happy arguing with her boyfriend about her leaving and her “silly crush.” Carol and Therese drive away while Silver Bells plays. They stop off at a diner and Therese gifts her the record from earlier of the song she played on piano at Carol’s house. She then tries to take Carol’s picture and she gets embarrassed and Therese accidentally touched Carol’s hand and that, my friends is an awkward and romantic moment. She takes her picture and then Carol asks if she misses Richard, her boyfriend. She says no and that she hasn’t thought of home either. Carol then gets contemplative about her home. Scenes later, Harge forcefully knocks on Abby’s door to speak to Carol saying that Rindi wants to be with Carol for Christmas. Abby is angry and says that she’s not there. He acts like an asshole, says he loves her, and then Abby closes the door in his face saying she can’t help. The next scene is where Carol asks Therese to get her sweater from her suitcase while she is showering in the motel room. Therese looks, smells her sweater romantically and then finds a gun under more of her clothes. Therese is startled, but doesn’t tell her why. She just says she’s hungry and then in the car asks if Carol feels safe and if she could help. She says she feels safe. They check into a different motel and Carol was about to get two separate rooms until Therese said to get the presidential suite “if the rate’s attractive.” Carol smiles and that’s what they do. Therese then gets ice outside until a man startles her and asks if she needs help. Keep him in mind for later, fans. The lovers then try on perfume and makeup together. Carol says Therese looks “beautiful.” Here’s where it starts heating up…Carol tells Therese to smell the perfume on her neck. However, Therese kind of looks away after…but don’t worry it gets sexier later in the movie, remember they haven’t kissed or slept together yet! Carol drunkenly says, “To President McKinley.” And they both laugh. Lol, what do they mean?! Later on, Therese watches Carol sleep in their separate beds. Now, for that guy again with the ice. Therese is seated at a table waiting for Carol when he just sits down without even asking. He says that he sells notions, whatever those are. Carol then grabs a seat. She is completely unfazed by him. He introduces himself as Tucker Tommy. Carol starts getting a map out. He tries to sell stuff to no avail. Don’t worry, he’ll be back later to be more of an asshole. The lovers drive off to the Drake Hotel where Carol falls quickly asleep while Therese takes in all of the gorgeous furniture galore. Scenes later, Carol goes into a payphone and calls her house, hears her husband’s voice and hangs up. She just tells Therese that she just went to the bathroom. They go to Waterloo, Iowa next and here it comes in their hotel room together alone…Happy New Year! On the radio, the guy says it’s 1952! Carol caresses her lover’s hair while touching her shoulder as they look in the mirror. They both say how they’ve spent New Year’s alone until now. Carol then undoes her robe, they look at each other, and then Carol kisses her! They kiss very passionately. Therese whispers to her to take her to bed and off they go! Therese was trembling and said to leave the light on to see her. Therese really enjoys it all…Carol says midway, “My angel…flung out of space.” (Remember, “flung out of space” from earlier?!) It was nice, very romantic and erotic, nothing too flashy. In the morning, they laugh about the town they’re in, Waterloo…lol they had great sex! Carol later gets a telegram from the front desk and is very flummoxed. Carol takes out her gun and opens a motel door to… Tucker Tommy with recording tapes. Harge sent for him to tape Carol! She then tries to shoot the tapes, but there are no bullets. Therese looks at the telegram paper. Tucker said “…it’s nothing personal.” In the car Carol asks what her lover is thinking. She says that she should have said no to her and it’s all her fault. Carol consoles her lover. They go to another hotel or motel and Therese gets into the other bed. Carol tells her, “You don’t have to sleep over there.” So she goes over and they hug and of course have sex which they don’t show this time… Therese wakes up to an empty bed and Abby sitting in a chair. Abby takes her to get breakfast and they talk. Abby says how they’ve known each other since she was ten and that five years ago they slept together and that things changed. She gives her a letter from Carol saying that Harge would have found them and eventually she’ll understand. She writes that they cannot see each other at least for now. It’s funny she writes how she releases her…idk just funny! One day she tries calling Carol and she picks up, but doesn’t answer. Therese later paints her apartment while the Times guy who kissed her looks at her photos. She tells him she’s not afraid because he kind of asked if she was from when he kissed her I think. Carol is shown eating dinner with Harge and her parents or something. They for some reason talk about her doctor (psychotherapist) like she should marry him. Then Rindi comes, yay! Carol talks to Abby scenes later, and talk about custody and Therese. Carol says that she should have told Therese to “wait.” Carol while being driven, in the next scene notices Therese all dolled up crossing the street. Now for the custody hearing: Carol’s lawyer says that her psychotherapist says that she’s been doing well and “has had no further contact with the girl in question.” After arguing etcetera, Carol tells Harge that Rindi is a gift and she doesn’t regret Therese either. She demands to be heard and says that Harge having custody is fine as long as she can see her too whether it be supervised or not. She tells Harge that she doesn’t want it to go to court because they are “not ugly people.” Scenes later, Therese receives a letter from Carol at her New York Times job all dolled up. The letter consists of Carol asking Therese to meet her at the Ritz Tower Hotel and that she understands if she can’t. Therese actually crumples it up, but meets her there anyway. Therese didn’t seem happy though. Carol says how Therese has blossomed and asks if that’s what comes from “getting away” from her. They stare a little. She now says how she’s going to work at a furniture house on fourth avenue as a buyer and that she and Harge are selling their house. Carol says she is going to live on Madison avenue. Carol says how she’s seen Rindi a couple times. Carol asks Therese to live with her. She says no after staring a bit. Carol says that she will see people at the Oak Room later that day and invites her to come. The lovers stare a long while and then Carol tells her she loves her. Alas, they are rudely interrupted by the guy from the beginning of the movie (Jack) in the same scene. He offers to drive her to a party. Carol places her hand tenderly on her lover’s shoulder for a few seconds, shakes Jack’s hand, and then leaves. At the party, Therese sees Richard dancing with another girl and they ignore each other/stare. She then sees probably a fellow queer woman (Carrie Brownstein) looking at her.They are both alone and then later she approaches Therese and says a couple words including,”I can see why Phil speaks so highly of you.” Therese later starts leaving the party without anyone knowing and she sees the Times guy with another girl. She leaves and then enters the final scene which is the one that leaves the lasting mark. Therese marches into the Oak Room, searches for Carol and at last her eyes land on Carol seated perfectly talking with people. Therese waits, walks up more, and finally Carol looks up and sees her! Their eyes lock, they both start to smile a little, the music gets louder and it ends on Carol’s face smiling! How romantic! That’s the kind of love story I want…minus the custody battle and heartaches!

Glam V. Casual

Hey fans, here is a double fun outfit post from yesterday and today which consists of a casual outfit today to go the grrr dentist for a cleaning and a more glammed up outfit yesterday of appliques, chiffon, and pleated velvet to go shopping, eat at a Christmas tree filled diner, and chill!

yesterday: top & pants Topshop/boots Payless/jacket Macy’s/makeup: Milani, Laura Mercier, NYX etc….lots of fun stuff!

today: top and pants H&M/boots Payless

This World

Spoiler Alert for those who haven’t watched the show Westworld!

So I watched Westworld, the series on HBO which just recently concluded its season 1 finale. Since I’m a millenial, I of course watched all ten episodes in just a few days. Much like the show,  I’m programmed to do so-lol! Coincidence alert, some posts ago I said that I would watch this show and rewatch The L Word after the semester ended, so the coincidence is that in real life, Westworld  actress, Evan Rachel Wood used to date The L Word actress, Kate Moennig. So anyway, the show really resonated with me and now I feel like a Westworld host. Hosts are robots. Interesting is how the word robot was never used except maybe AI or artificial intelligence. It was so wild how it was like a show within a show within more things. Evan Rachel Wood and all of the other actors were phenomenal and I love how it was a very female empowering show equal to the men. It really dove into how no one controls you, but you and your own mind. The mind is the most powerful weapon and once one puts their mind to something, nothing can stop them. The hosts were really so much more than what they were built for. Something I am thinking about and have been thinking about lately is why we are all here and much like the show’s characters endured, all humans suffer. It is the cornerstone that gives just the right backstory like the show explained. But, why…why do we need to suffer to get the “center of the maze” as the show sought out. The maze was nothing but suffering with little glimpses of happiness. The center was nothing but a sad cemetery. The script that all of the robots were programmed to say and do day in and day out in their loop is like what a lot of people endure every day which the show. However, that is not necessarily a bad thing all of the time. In the show, there was lots of nudity, a few sex scenes, and more. It is interesting how there actually wasn’t as much sex as some other shows may have. As for gay sex, not really in this show except….a number of scenes with two second glimpses of two various women kissing without actual lesbian sex. Although one character did try to as a prostitute and another time when another prostitute brought up another woman. However, no two men were shown kissing except one threesome scene with two men and one woman although it was really just one man and one woman having sex. Another scene was when one man was trying to do stuff I’ll say, with another robot man. Btw, I just signed up to volunteer at GLAAD which keeps the kind of tally I just tallied for LGBT coverage in media. Anyway, Westworld is a show that really made me think and guess at every turn. The show makes you think about your own existence which is precisely what the park inside the show wanted to achieve essentially. The maze was not for the guests but for the hosts which I think is in turn for the creators of the park in turn for the viewers watching it. You have to internally think inside within yourself and realize the person you want to become like Wood’s character, Delores had to do. No one really knows what life is, we just say things to make ourselves suffer less and when we overcome great obstacles, we survive. Why are we all programmed to do things? We may think we have free will, but we don’t or do we?It was interesting how the robots played various narratives over and over again which could actually be what is happening as we speak inside the worm hole if that does exist. If we could go into our past and see ourselves play out our darkest secrets over and over again, would we? Do we even need a worm hole for that? Our memories make us long for lost time, for the good times and even the bad sometimes. Maybe I am not really typing this or I frankly don’t care or do I? This is precisely why a show like Westworld capture audiences, we all are on the same fucking ship that can sink at any possible moment and we relate and need something or someone to cling to. We are all so clueless and scared that we’ll fall or scared that we won’t. Congrats to Evan Rachel Wood on her Golden Globe nomination for the show!

Oh and yes, The L Word! I realize that I haven’t actually written about the show on here and I regret that because lol I watched that show to make sure I was attracted to women and woopdidoo it worked! See I came out almost a full year ago ( it’ll be exactly a year in a month or so) and on my blog I came out later like in June. And so before then I watched all six seasons of the show on Showtime and was like yeah of course chicks are smokin’! It too was a very good series, a little crazy at times, but great! So I think I will rewatch the show soon and get back to you with more!

So fans, why do you think we are put on this earth? Do we have a path that leads somewhere? Regardless if you believe in God or religion or anything really, what is your perspective? Lol, you probably came on this blog today assuming you’d just look at my outfit and my gorgeous self and not have to think about internal spiritual stuff (ew, right?) or maybe you thought I’d give you solely some new lesbian insight on some new gossip for who’s dating who or whatever (and I kinda did that too above) or maybe you pervs thought I’d tell you some new lesbian sex moves to try or some other sexy bullshit, idk lol! However, we should all just pause for a moment and ask ourselves a one word question and that is…Why? Or maybe how? Etcetera, etcetera, boring right, but try it!

Thank you Westworld, too bad we have to wait until 2018 until season 2!

College Casual

Hey fans, I went college casual even though I already finished the semester! I am awaiting my grades and I just casually chilled today. Literally, it was a chilly day, so I bundled up in a cute wintry white turtleneck sweater and blue jeans! Nothing fancy shmancy!

top & jeans Forever 21/boots Payless

Happy Marketing Schemes Day!

Hey fans, Merry Christmas and Happy Hanukkah! Lol, even if you don’t believe in religion like I may not; Happy Marketing Schemes Day! Remember to decorate lots of cookies!

top Aerie/jacket AEO/jeans Forever 21/boots Payless

Yummy Outfit

Hey fans, here are some quick selfies of today’s outfit plus photos of some yummy stuff I decorated recently. I decorated a gingerbread person (a gender neutral one-pronouns are they/them!) along with a snowperson cake and a gingerperson cake!

top H&M/jeans Aeropostale/boots Payless

Cutesy Casual Chic

Hey fans, I went cutesy casual chic today in a metallic sweater top with a matching metallic lace neckline and hem cami, jeans, and boots.

sweater top H&M/cami NY&Co./jeans Forever 21/boots Payless

Last Day of Blue

Hey fans, I went with black and blue today for my last official day of finals of the semester! I wore my new Express plaid top. If you remember, I have this top in maroon and blue, hence I loved it so much that I bought this color as well! I also wore matching blue makeup that includes this new blue lipstick I got by Urban Decay. I even mixed it with a pink lip gloss from the brand and it created a light purple shade.

top and jeans Express/boots Payless/lipstick/lipgloss Urban Decay from Sephora/eye shadow NYX etc…..